Just for fun, I thought that I would try to do a version of "Ballad
Of The Alamo" that's based upon the events portrayed in Wayne's film."Ballad Of The Waynamo" Lyrics by Nefarious Ned, 2003
In the southern part of Texas
On the Rio Bravo's bank,
Sits an old adobe ruin,
Nearly old as Parson Hank.
See Sam Houston and his army
Riding hard into the town.
They've gone cold, rump bumpin' miles
And are clearly wearing down.
You can see the likes of Jocko,
(Wonder what he's doing there?)
In his jaunty hat and feather,
They cause many folks to stare.
"Houston's here boys, bring refreshments,"
Comes the leathered Colonel's call.
Captain Dickinson, Major Travis,
Stand together near the wall...
Back in 1836, Houston said to Travis,
"Though I hate you, when I'm gone,
You're in charge here, carry on!"
Then outside, he meets Jethro,
"Bowie loves you, old Sam!"
Houston nods with his hat tipped,
"My regards, now stay temperate, old man."
In the fort, young Travis climbs
Down the chapel's ladder.
Bowie shouts, "Santana's got
Seven thousand- that's a lot!"
Then across grassy meadows,
O'er the crest of a hill,
Ride together in furs without frills.
Crockett and his men draw up
On the grassy hillside.
"What's 'CANTINA', tell me true-
Mean it what I think it do?!"
So the bold Tenneseeans
In their fooferaw clothes
Ride on down to the town and
Very soon become all 'indisposed'.
Travis seeks out Crockett there
In a quiet corner.
"Will your men fight for our cause?"
This gives Crockett time for pause.
Then he spews off flamboyant,
His Republican views,
While without, Tennesseans
Sing of "Ladies" and swill down the booze.
Outside in the starry night,
Crockett overhears there
Emil Sands- the dirty guy!
He just made a lady cry.
So ol' Davy, he offers the young lady a hand,
But at first she refuses.
"Thanks the same, Mr. Tall 'Merican."
Emil sends a dozen thugs
To rough up ol' Davy.
Davy takes it all in stride,
Still, Jim Bowie saves his hide.
Then the lady, Miss Flaca
Tells of Pulvera hid
In the old church's basement
To be sold for the highest good bid.
Crockett, Parson, Beekeeper
Go to church with Bowie.
Soon, the powder's on its way
To the mission, sans delay.
Then both Crockett and Flaca
Take a riverside stroll.
Though she hopes for a dalliance,
Crockett tells her a speech, dull and droll.
"Lessen you put in a lick
For what's right and proper.
You're not living- worse than that !
You're dead as a beaver hat."
Then the Parson pulls up with
A rattle and clap,
Colonel Davy sends Flaca
On her way with her geejaws intact.
Santa Anna's army comes
Rolling into Bejar.
All the townfolk hunker down
As the army fills the town.
While across, in the mission
Each man stands at his post.
Santa Anna envisions
to send all best regards to his hosts.
Sends an officer to tell
Travis to surrender.
Travis' cannon blows off soot,
Then recoils- on his foot!
Then the Irishman rider
Tumbles in on a run.
"I seen more than I want to!
They have got a dadblasted big gun!"
So old Crockett and his men
Make a eve'ning sorty.
To destroy the cannon bold.
"Where's the mud? Oh Lord, it's cold!"
Then they have a big party
for Miss Lisa, they sup.
On the wall, Crockett peers off,
Then remarks, "They are sure building up."
After a night raid for cows,
And a stab at dinner.
Plans are put up on the shelf,
"It's the big He-Bull hisself!"
Then a gallant young rider
Offers up one last chance.
Just before the assault, they
May evacuate non-combatants.
This time, Jocko doesn't leave.
(Though it seems he tries to.)
On the walls the men are called
To meet with the first assault.
After shooting down hundreds,
Before merciless fire,
The defenders take pause as
All the troops fall back,
Then soon retire.
Bonham rides in o'er the fence
To report his mission.
"Fannin's ambushed-his whole band!
We're not getting any hand!"
Then young Travis steps forward
With restraint in his breath
To announce to the men that
"Bonham brings us all news sad as death."
In the dirt he draws no line,
Still, Jim Bowie joins him.
Soon, the rest all step across,
Standing with their army boss.
Then Jim Bowie free's Jethro,
But ol' Jeth says he'll stay.
While some Texicans argue
'Bout religion and why they all pray.
Over by the southern wall,
Gambler questions Davy.
"What yuh thinkin' Davy, war?"
"Just remembering...nothing more."
Then the morning arrives and
The troops start to crowd
All about the old mission,
Someone calls out, "What's that...It's sure loud!"
Once he charged without recall,
Knocking all the walls down.
Santa Anna ventured in,
Killing all, oh such a din!
'Til there's only old Davy
With a torch he is seen
Running off to the Chapel
To ignite the fort's whole magazine.
Soon he's lanced into the door,
What a messy scene, oh!
Crockett waves his torch a'grip,
Breaking off the lance's tip.
Then he tosses the torch in
And the Chapel goes Boom!
Then Jim Bowie gets killed with
A long squawk in an adjoining room.
Then the troops find Mrs.Dick
And her baby daughter.
Santa Anna orders them,
"Rise up and salute her, men!"
Now the bugles are silent
And the fort is a ruin,
While the "Green Leaves Of Summer"
Makes a good, poignant exiting tune.
In the southern part of Texas
In the town of Brackettville,
Rich Curilla stands in wonder
On the brink of Parson hill.
And he see's the cattle looming
Where some forty years before
John Wayne's voice was heard a'booming
O'er the cameras and the score.
And his eyes turn kind of misty
And his heart begins to glow
And he takes his hat off slowly
To old John Wayne's "Alamo".
To the Duke's dream of a lifetime,
To his movie, "Alamo".